The Day Atticus Ate the Lotrimin, I Ate the Green Jello, and Walker Ate the Poop

That would be today. I had one of those days that doesn't look that good to start with but with a little planning and a good attitude can be redeemed -- or so I thought. Bright and early tomorrow morning I'm going to Baylor for the experience that all 50 year and above folks are encouraged to have -- a colonoscopy! And just for good measure I'm going to have an endoscopy too. Those are the tests where they look up one end and down the other for stuff that tends to grow in old folks' innards. It's really no big deal since they do it while you sleep. However, there's a catch. The day before the Big Test you can only have liquids and while you're at it, nothing red or purple or pulpy. Being the "organized" person that I am, on Tuesday I bought jello (green, not red or purple and not orange because that's kind of like red), beef broth, tea and Italian Ice. Yesterday, I took the time to prepare the green jello in a beautiful cathedral mold because who wants to eat plain jello out of a plain old bowl. Since green jello, of all my choices for breakfast, sounded the most like breakfast food, I started my day with a big bowl full of the stuff. Well, I don't really like jello unless it has cream cheese, nuts and fruit in it and then only on holidays so about three bites into it I realized how much I hate it when it wouldn't go down so I just tossed it. On to the Italian Ice -- yum.
In the meantime, Atticus was having a very active day and had been playing with his ball by himself since his morning nap was finished. I didn't really mind because I don't have to do anything but I do have to be careful not to get in his way and I'm always "in his way."
Also, Walker has a pretty bad diaper rash (You think you know where this is going, but first I'm going to take you on another adventure.) and the advice nurse said that everytime we change him we should wash him in the sink, dry him with the blow dryer, put Lotrimin on the rash and let him go without a diaper as much as possible. Everything was all set up at the changing table -- Lotrimin, hairdryer, extra towel, vaseline -- the works. I took Walker from there to the bathroom sink for a good washin' and came back to dry his bottom with the hair dryer. When it was time for the Lotrimin application I couldn't find it. However, I did find a tennis ball where the Lotrimin had been. I picked the necked (They use the word, "naked" in the Bible, but in my world, people today are sometimes "necked" but the meaning is the same.) baby up and we set out to find the medicine. It didn't take long. I found Atticus stepping out of his bed with a funny look on his face and pawing his tongue. There, in his bed was the Lotrimin with just the cap chewed off and one hole in the tube. I hope it is not poison! Dogs -- why do we let animals live in our houses?
After returning to the changing area, I applied the cream and took Walker to the very carefully prepared area in the living room. Earlier I had made a Tee Tee (Some people call it urine. I call it tee tee.) proof cage in the living room using Walker's play yard over an old comforter on the floor. I put him in it (all necked) with his toys and he was happy as a lark. He was making his kissing noise, laughing, playing with blocks -- really, happy as a lark. So I just sat down at the computer to read Paula Deen's biography and chat with Kara on the phone. And then I looked over and there he was with something I didn't recognize in his mouth. I began to think what it might be -- maybe chewed up fabric, but from what? Maybe he threw up? But he only ate rice cereal for lunch. Oh no! "Walker, don't eat that!" See, there's more than one reason babies wear diapers. Not only do they get wet, they poop. I'd failed to take that into consideration in my detailed preparations.
Everything is all clean and calm now. Walker is wearing a diaper, the washer is going, and I'm telling you this tale.
I'm kind of hungry though. I think I'll go have a delicious cup of broth and wash it down with a nice glass of ice tea. That should do it. The only problem is that it's only 2:00 and that's alot of day left for a day like today!